New Saptapadi for New Marriages

 

 

Recently I had been with a couple who celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary. Everyone was happy , the couple performed same rituals again after 50 years. The bride and the groom was having same glow on their face. I could feel the nervousness of the bride. She still was not able look into the eyes of groom.  They were holding each others hand near fire and took those seven steps “Saptapadi”. I was watchful and listening cautiously though I did the same in my marriage.

Those Seven Steps were:

• The first step, promise to nourish each other.
• The second step, to grow together as strength. 
• The third step is to preserve wealth.
• The fourth step is for the attainment of happiness in all walks of life.
• The fifth step is to take care of children and parents. 
• The sixth step is for to be together forever.
• The seventh step is to remain friends for ever.

I was engrossed in watching the ceremony and update popped up in my FB account. Update was “Engaged” by one of my young students. I had two contradicting situations in front of my eyes. One is being with each other for fifty years and still so enigmatic and another announcing his relationship openly on social networking.  This incident made me think about today’s contemporary Indian relationships. Now a day’s youngsters are so vocal about their relations. Just updating status on face book they declare their relationships like engaged, confused, or single again which is so unlike our old traditional days. Openness about relation is good but are they open in their relationship? Do they accept each other with an open mind? How long the relation continues? Sometimes not even for 50 days and the status changes to single again. And if the marriage happens then are they happy? Today's generation prefer separation than dragging relations. 

But then the question is what make couple to be with each other for 50 years. It has been observed that our various marriage rituals like kanyadan, saptapadi used to tie the couples with each other for lifetime. Acknowledging India’s respect for its culture and social ethics, one can expect that India enjoys a low divorce rate. But it is more surprising to know that 1 out of 100 Indian marriages end up to a divorce and the rating growing.  It has been also blamed to women empowerment. But is women empowerment wrong? Is becoming financial independent wrong?

Then what is the solution for Divorce- Proof marriage? Time has changed and so are couple’s expectations for each other. Earlier each partner role was defined and couples used to lead successful life. Today men also expect their partner to be career oriented and women wish to have her identity, freedom, and emotional support from her partner. Their roles in day to day life are altering. And they are unable to cope up with the change.

So today along with the traditional Saptapadi couples need to make more promises to each other for Divorce – proof weeding:

1.      I promise to respect, admire and appreciate you for who you are, as well as for the person you   wish to become.

2.   I promise to support and protect your freedom, because although our lives are intertwined, your choices are still your alone.

3.   I promise to seek a deep understanding of your wishes, your fears and your dreams.

4.   I promise to always strive to meet your needs, not out of obligation, but it delights me to see you happy.

5.   I promise to nurture your goals and ambitions; to support you through misfortune, and to celebrate your triumphs

     6.   I promise to keep our lives exciting, adventurous, and full of passion.

7.   I promise to treat you with compassion rather than fairness, because we are team.

 Source: Science of relationships 

Marriage is wonderful journey enjoy it by respecting each others uniqueness.