1min. 40 sec. can change your attitude - Masterpiece by Tanishq

 
My last blog  Kudiya ni tere brown range ne… spoke about Skin colour bias.  It also brings up role of media in contributing and propagating skin colour age-old bias. 

Today every second advt is saying if you are not fair then you are not good enough. But Tanishq a prominent jewellery brand of India has made an effort to change the trend. When you think about Tanishq what comes to your mind?? – Jewellery??? Definitely not just a jewellery but modern jewellery which is meant for today’s Indian woman. And I think they have truly projected today's Indian woman’s image through this advertisement.

I will say this is an advertising breakthrough, a dusky bride instead of the fair & lovelies and with a child. I think this advt is an exquisite, artistically styled masterpiece just like Tanishq jewellery…

Kudos for conveying powerful and forward looking message in 1min. 40 secs advt.which will change the stereotype attitude towards dark women..Hope this will teach new lessons to advertisers...

 

Kudiya ni tere brown range ne…

Thanks to yo yo Honey Singh for loving brown girl…

Have you ever questioned where skin colour bias originated from? But honestly speaking, there is no simple answer. Skin colour bias is so much a part of our culture that if we tracked it down to see the real enemies it would possibly point to all of us, our families, our extended families, our society, our ancestors etc. We are all guilty of either propagating or tolerating this age-old bias.

When I heard about the Dark is Beautiful campaign, I could relate to it so much, and I think this is an important issue to address in schools, corporates and in social circles. Parents and school teachers plays extremely vital role in creating equality and evolving children’s confidence.  Children need to hear and experience that it doesn't matter whether you are tall or short, dark or fair. Nothing or no one can put limits on what we can achieve. Focus on what you’re good at and don’t let discrimination bring you down. I feel teaching to kids is extremely easy than teaching to an adults. Need to learn that God created all people equal. 

It would be a very boring world if everyone had the same skin colour. Varying skin tones showcase the beauty of God's creation. Since longest time I have seen people coming up to me and saying, “You have nice features but poor thing you are dark.” This kind of stereo type I want to fight. I took it as challenge and overcome it. I have also observed and experienced how it is impacting young girls now days even boys. It is impacting confidence, self-esteem purely because they are not fair. I have heard people stopping me to ware different colours because I am dark. Every second advt is saying if you are not fair then you are not good enough. This association with fair is the troubling part. I think it is the time to stop stereo typical notion of beauty and feel good and confident and worthy of the person we are. Be fair with unfair because unfair is beautiful.

Dark Is Beautiful
 

I am not Yummy Mummy…..

“My Yummy Mummy Guide” a book authored by Karishma Kapoor currently is making lot of noise amongst young mothers. Now that’s what struck me, “What is yummy mummy?”  What kind of mother is called yummy? How does she look like? What are the qualities this so called yummy mummy has?  Because to my limited knowledge yummy is an adjective mostly used for delicious food and not for human beings.

After exploring I understood that yummy mummy is a slang term used in the United Kingdom to describe young, attractive and wealthy mothers. The term developed in the late 20th century, and was often applied to celebrity mothers who appeared to quickly regain their pre-pregnancy figures after giving birth, and would continue to lead carefree and affluent lifestyles.         

For celebrities looking young and be in shape is a need of profession. That is what they get paid for. If they want to continue to work then it is absolutely basic necessity for them. But we are so programmed to follow white skin trends for many mothers it has become obsession to become   yummy mummy immediately after delivering a child. In fact it is adding to the existing psychological pressures of women.  Psychologists said the poll showed the ugly side of the "yummy mummy" phenomenon, and accused celebrity mothers of "subverting" motherhood by making women think their figures were as important as bringing up their families. It was reported in 2008 that celebrity yummy mummies were contributing to levels of depression in young mothers, making new mothers feel "saggy, baggy and depressed" about their own bodies. You can continue to lead carefree lifestyle even with those small pounds if you are healthy.

This also takes me back to my mummy. Was she yummy mummy? Definitely not. But she is my role model. She has given me the wealth of values to live my life. She has taught me the commitment, simplicity, importance of education and family life. For me she was a woman of substance. Now this is what she has given to her daughter. She was most attractive lady for me. I always found the peace and warmth in her fatty and soft laps.  I am sure this is the fact with most of us.

It’s a high time for desi mothers (slang used for Indian mothers) what values we are inculcating in next generation. Is it importance of superficial looks or innermost radiance? It is a good phenomenon to be healthy and look pleasant but can it be the only priority in life? Why do young mothers judge other mothers only on the basis of how yummy is she? This trend is impacting society as a whole. Young girls are scared to become a mother whereas motherhood is most wonderful experience woman is blessed with. Kids are embarrassed for their mummies. What kind of India we want is completely in our hands. Do we want to copy paste foreign culture? Change in mother’s mind set changes the nations mind set. Mothers impact their children’s attitude significantly. Can we develop right attitude towards women in our kids? Can we educate our sons to respect women and make our daughters women of substance and go beyond sheer external looks? Woman of substance looks much beautiful and get immense respect than just yummy mummy.  That’s what future India need.

I am not Yummy Mummy but I am a complete woman….

MUCH DEPENDENDS ON HOW A WOMAN LOOKS RATHER THAN HER ACHIVEMENTS

My write up has been published in Times of India- March 28,2013.

“If you are slim then you are in.”

Kids have grownup seeing white skinny Barbie doll. Women’s waist line has become measurement of her success. Sadly, much depends on how woman looks rather than what she has achieved. Many women find this wave of super-skinny women scary. Perhaps many do not opt for a pregnancy or they are content with a single kid. Society demand a woman to be back in the shape very next day after delivering a baby or her weight will become news channel’s headline.

Many studies have reported that adolescent girls and young women smoke to control their weight as a way to be slim and look fashionable, and feminine.

Women have money, power, and recognition than we have ever had before; but in terms of how we feel about our self-image, we are still backward.

Undoubtedly, this fascination, stereotyped approach towards woman’s physical beauty impacting her physical and mental health. However medication can support physique to recover but there is no medication for deteriorating mental health.

It is an amazing feeling to see and read your name in the news paper as an author. My article got published in Deccan Herald on 16th March 2013.

http://www.deccanherald.com/content/319148/thats-ok-momma.html

‘That’s ok, momma’

Aparna Sethi

Then slowly it dawned on me, that he is a good boy — but am I a good mother?
As a working mother, with a six-year-old son, my comprehension of work-life balance is grounded in reality. My son after school which closes by 1 pm would go to day care and by 5 pm, I would take him home. Thereafter he would play with friends for two hours and return home. That was the mom- son timetable.

Suddenly, one fine day bosses at the office decided to make the staff work an additional hour daily. The next day before he left for school as usual, I told my accommodative son, ‘beta, I will be late.’ He calmly replied, ‘fine, mom’… and I was relieved at his response.
Instead of 5 pm, I now returned home only around 6.30- 7 pm. One day his friends came home, but I told them that he could not come and he was asleep. Surprised, they remarked ‘so early?’ I said, ‘Shush…he is a good boy.’ My timetable suited me but not my son. But it happened repeatedly. And then slowly it dawned on me, that he is a good boy — but am I a good mother? Finally I told myself about the need to balance my life and these thoughts were pointless issues.

Then monsoon set in and I started coming home late… and began to make excuses to my son, but he always said, ‘That’s ok momma.’ Then I started showering unnecessary attention on him — just to remind him about his mother’s love. But I did not realise that this was not to help him — but to make me feel good. Gradually my guilt led to introspection.

One day his friends came, he was asleep in his clothes with shoes still on his feet. At that moment, it made we wonder whether or not I had snatched away his childhood from him? The next day similar thoughts flooded my head. Again I told myself not to be emotional and that your son needs to understand that you required the job.

Coincidentally it rained heavily that day which led to a traffic jam and I reached his day care around 7.40 pm. I looked around, but he was not there. The staff said, ‘He was here only madam’ and all of us searched for him. It made me irritable and tense. When I saw him seated alone on a swing, I felt a sense of both relief and anger at the same time and I screamed at him, ‘We were all searching for you?’ He quietly asked me, ‘Mom, did your bus break down today?’ After he uttered those words, my knees buckled and I sat down and hugged him…I had no answer to his question and I remained silent.

Next day, I promptly resigned my job. Naturally my boss was curious and listened to my work-life struggle, which he as a father with a six-year-old was moved to tears. He gracefully accepted the letter and said, ‘Your son certainly needs you more than us.’ That evening, as I spent a lot of time playing and joking with my son, the meaning of work-life balance became crystal clear to me.

मे जब निर्भया के ऑखोसे देखती हूँ ..

मे जब निर्भया  के ऑखोसे देखती हूँ
तो मुझे अपने भारतीय होने पे गर्व नहीं शर्म महसूस होती हे

जहा माँ की कोक मेही लडकियों को मारा जाता हे
और जहा खुले आम बाजारों में लडकियों को बेचा जाता हे

मे जब निर्भया के ऑखोसे देखती हूँ 
तो मुझे अपने भारतीय होने पे गर्व नहीं शर्म महसूस होती हे

जहा बचपंसे बेटा और बेटी मे फरक किया जाता हे
जहा लड्कोको पढाया-लिखाया जाता हे
और लड्कियोको पैसा कमाने का जरिया बयाना जाता हे

मे जब निर्भया के ऑखोसे देखती हूँ 
तो मुझे अपने भारतीय होने पे गर्व नहीं शर्म महसूस होती हे

16 दिसम्बर की रात से सताया जा रहा था  बस एक ही सवाल
क्या कसूर था मेरा ?? क्यू दे गई मुझे ये सजा????
क्या कसूर था मेरा ?? क्यू दे गई मुझे ये सजा????
नजाने मुझे मिटाके क्या मिला उन असूरोको ..हवस का ये  मजा ?

मे जब निर्भया के ऑखोसे देखती हूँ 
तो मुझे अपने भारतीय होने पे गर्व नहीं शर्म महसूस होती हे

29 दिसम्बर की रात को ख़ुद  सो गई
और  कारडो को जगा गई
लेकिन न्यायदेवता की आखोंसे  पट्टी नहीं खुली
आगया हे वक़्त अब वो पट्टी खुल्नेका ....
आगया हे वक़्त अब वो पट्टी खुल्नेका ....
क्या पता शायद  उसको इंतजार था बस मेरी ही बलि चढ़नेका ...बस मेरी ही बलि चढ़नेका ...

मे जब निर्भया के ऑखोसे देखती हूँ 
तो मुझे अपने भारतीय होने पे गर्व नहीं शर्म महसूस होती हे